Raising Kids: Dinner-Table Apologetics

As my daughters begin stepping into the pre-teen years, I’ve noticed a shift in the kinds of questions they’re asking. Our chats around the dinner table, in the car, and at bedtime have deepened. Some questions are easy to respond to — others catch me off guard.

More than once, I’ve found myself saying, “Let’s ask your dad,” or “That’s a great question… let me think about it and get back to you.” The topics that come up are wide-ranging — relationships, God, emotions, science, and everything in between. Like many parents, I’m very much learning on the job. Each new stage brings fresh joys and challenges.

The other night at dinner, I shared a conversation I had with a colleague about Jesus. The colleague listened thoughtfully and responded by saying that all religions are the same. My eldest child (10 at the time) quickly and confidently said, “No, they’re not.” My husband, Vic, followed up: “Why do you think they’re not the same? What do you think makes Christianity different?” She replied, “Other religions do good works for themselves and not for Jesus.”

What she meant — and was trying to put into words — is that many religions focus on being saved by good works, whereas in Christianity, we’re not saved by what we do, but by grace (Ephesians 2:8-9). That moment stuck with me. Not because it was a perfectly polished answer, but because it showed how she’s beginning to think deeply about her beliefs. We’ve found that responding to questions with more questions can be a great way to get our kids thinking, processing, and articulating what they believe — and why.

I didn’t come up with this approach on my own. I first read about it in Mama Bear Apologetics by Hillary Morgan Ferrer. It’s been a helpful resource for me as a parent — encouraging moms (and dads!) to help their kids think critically, love biblically, and stand strong in today’s culture. They also have a podcast that explores all kinds of relevant topics from a faith-based perspective, often with a great mix of depth and relatability.

Another book we’ve enjoyed is The Radical Book for Kids by Champ Thornton. It explores the foundations of the Christian faith in a way that’s accessible for kids, and covers everything from “How do we know the Bible is true?” to “What to do when you’re angry” — and even, “How to clean your room,” which may just be my personal favourite.

I definitely don’t have all the answers — and I’m learning more every day. But I’ve found that creating space for honest questions and ongoing conversations has made a big difference in our family. If you’re walking through similar stages with your kids, just know you’re not alone. We’re all figuring it out as we go — and that’s okay.

This article was first published on the Saint James Church newsletter.

Meet the Author

Learn more about the author and see what else they've written.